who am i ???

bored to be not me...me???even i dont know who the real "me"
the boy with the angry mind...the boy with the happy smile or the mysterious one

bored to be in this fuckin situation...the situation that made me dont know the right one...

bored to be the one who wearing this mask....the mask that i dont know what for...

bored to be an angel guardian....the guardian that always protect the others without no one wannna protect back...huff

is it the situation called "desperation"???...hell no...there're no such word in my live...so what i should called it?????

me...just me

Free as the wind that blows through the trees,
Active as the buzzing of the energetic bees,
Wild as the flowers that grow in the field,
But as calm as the deep blue sea

My smile is extra bright,
And the love I give is just right,
I'm so happy about my life,
That my soul just shines,
Even when life begins to taste like a sour lime,

I'm not your average young man,
Jewels, diamonds, and others are things I don't need,
To love, respect and honor is my creed,
So I'll always keep it real,

I am what I am
I do the best I can,
I will never change because I know me just being, is enough,
I can only be me and that's all I will ever strive to be

heroes

Standing at the door,dog tags in hand
About to tell a loved one about their loss
Thinking of how it could have been me
Wondering how they will react.

Reaching up with heavy hand,
I knock on the door.
Waiting nervously,I prepare myself for what's to come.

Wishing anxiously
someone else had come.
Wanting desperately
not to have to deliver such news.

He gave his life for this country that he loved.
Dying so suddenly without warning.
He never got to say "Goodbye, my love."

Sadly thinking
how to treat
the wounds
I'm sure to inflict.

Praying for peace and getting only a saddened heart.
The only tribute I can giveis this poem

His memory will never fade from my mind.
His lust for life never replaced.
His joy in his family and his friends,
never forgotten.

He wil live on 'till the end of time.

He is one of us,
the unforgotten vet

disorder minded

The pain of my past
Is piled too high and
Stoning me to death
With its unresolved debris

I cant stop it
Because I cant change it
I cant run away
And I cant cope

So I lay here
In pain
Bleeding all over
My so-called promise

Just waiting
For my past
To kill
My future

no light...even just for my shadow

dunia tanpa "teman"

"dunia"gw ga ada yang namanya teman...

teman????

kata orang teman itu buat tempat kita bersandar waktu kita sedih,tempat kita berbagi,tempat kita bertanya,tempat kita meminta pendapat...whahhahahahha...itu beberapa alesan gw ga mo punya teman...tempat berbagi????tempat bersandar???bertanya????...hmmm...gw ga yakin mo ngasih beberapa atau salah satu hal yg bisa bikin gw "hidup"...kesedihan bikin hidup gw lebih berarti & kesenangan bikin gw makin tau arti hidup,bingung adalah jalaN buat menggapai "hidup"gw...trus klo itu smua gw kasih ke seseorang yang gw sebut "teman"...gimana cara gw hidup????

gw ga mo punya teman cuman buat d kelompok2in..."dia teman yg baik..," atau "dia ama teman sdr aja gitu..." atau apapun nama pengelompokan itu

"dunia" gw adalah dunia dimana semua orang sama...dunia dimana ga ada yang salah atau benar...dunia yang hanya ada kebenaran mutlak tanpa ada kebenaran publik...dunia tanpa maksud tersembunyi...dunia tanpa pertanyaan

dia...mereka...kamu...kalian...bukan teman gw !!!!

dia bukan seseorang yang bisa buat gw bsandar...mereka bukan tempat gw berbagi pengalaman...kamu bukan orang yang bisa ngebuat gw tau jawaban atas "dunia"gw...kalian juga bukan tempat gw untuk berkeluh kesah

"dunia" gw hanya untuk gw dan "sodara"gw...hanya"sodara" yang bisa ngasih jawaban atas smua pertann di "dunia" gw....karena "sodara" selalu bisa menjadi penopang hidup gw...dan cuman "sodara" yang bisa memberi dan menerima tanpa kata "kenapa" "bagaimana" "apa" dan "kapan"

"dunia" dan "sodara" gw adalah satu...tanpa bentuk...tanpa bisa di lepaskan...tanpa ikatan...tanpa awal dan akhir

dia...mereka...kamu..kalian...adalah "sodara" gw

dia tersenyum tanpa kata "apa"...mereka selalu memberi jawaban tanpa "bagaimana"...kamu menerima dan memberi tanpa "kenapa"...dan kalian selalu ada tanpa"kapan"

TERIMA KASIH SODARA...

une vie à partir guerriro

yes…. the warrior’s life journey

for they…..who always remember me coz noone else
for they…..who always know l’m there but still do it
for they…..who never recognize who really am i…
for they…..who always underestimate of me….

do u really think u are the one…..
if u do….

fuck u….
fuck your argue…
fuck your mind…
fuck the people behind u…

maybe i’m the last…
maybe i’m not that strong….
maybe i’m not that good one…
maybe i cant change the entire world….

but….

i know who am i….
i know my capabilities….
i know i can survive….
i know i have my own world……
n i know….

i’m not least….

T H A N K Y O U M O T H E R

There is no love enough for me to give you.
However much I feel, there should be more.
All the love an angel choir might sing you
Never makes it halfway up that shore.
Know that I would burst my willing heart

Your life to fill with pleasure overflowing,
Or if I had the genius and the art,
Undertake to paint your spirit glowing.

More beautiful than all the summer fields
Or all the cornucopias of fall,
The wish my insufficient passion yields
Holds me with a vastness I recall.
Even as your love became my sea,
Remember that the same is yours from me